http://www.shadowlordinc.com/forum/forums/show/6.page JForum - http://www.jforum.net
There's been something that has been bothering me. Seeing a similar post elsewhere gave food for my thought. We could say I have 2 jobs: my real life job and the Shadowlord website.
The first one, I work 40 hours a week in average, sometime more. My achievement are rewarded bi-monthly by a check.
The Shadowlord website, I wish I could put the time I spend on it. Lets try to put some average number. Looking for show, normally a Monday to Saturday job, spending about 2-3 hours a day looking what the PVR recorded. Sometime more, sometime less. Then come the week-end. 2-3 hours preparing which clips to upload, normalizing them since the old site and starting the upload before heading out. Then on Sunday, it's the actual update. I think I spend 4 hours on that last one, since there was new clips and I needed to redo the thumbs for the old show. In total, lets give a round number of 15 hours a week.
Contrarily to my work job, this one give me zero benefit. It's all on my arm.

So what has been bothering me... Is it wrong for me to want fanart / gift art for all my work? Practically all of the personal artworks I have are commission. I can count gifts fan arts with both hands. I spend a lot of time weekly on the community site. The 700 average monthly downloads (from 400 to 1200) shows there's people using it. Yet, I practically get no real support. I'm a sucker for transformation of myself and Dragoniade arts. Anyone who saw me at a con knows that from my sketchbooks. But people seem not to consider it's worth contributing.

What's the most frustrating is I often see people on Deviant art posting the request they've done. LOTS of request to some TF fan. Some which are know to be real pest at requesting stuff. Why can people doing NOTHING other than begging for art get something, while I, who work that much for it, get nothing? It's even more infuriating when some of them message you and brag how they got more commissions (read requests) than you, then say they can't pay because they're just kids...

Not only that, but I've got my share of being burned for helping people in the community. I'll wash my dirty laundry there with some of the enraging case.

* Mr K2, Mr B, Mr S and Mr R both transformation artists, needed help on a website. Since I was a friend with B and Stonegate knew K2, I offered myself to code the back end of their art gallery, in exchange for a color drawing from each tenant. That was in 2002 or so and I coded their website, adding a new feature from time to time as they asked. Mr S and Mr R did their part and drew me a picture each. Mr K2 denied owning me any drawing while Mr B only gave me an unfinished sketch, only half of it inked. To this day, no word from any of those 2.

* Mr J and Mr K live together and are fan of transformation and cartoon. Mr K contact me saying he's a fan of TF and that he would be interested in seeing some clips to help Mr J with character references, poses and transformation. I agreed and sent him a good chunk of file. In thanks, he did a drawing for me. After that, he asked for a few more reference, asked for some money for help and for a commission, which I accepted since I usually support those that supported me. After 6 years, I have yet to see those drawings, only getting excuses like 'the dog ate the first sketch', 'Mr J is trying a new technique, you'll be the next one to try it', 'We're moving', 'Mr J's not in the mood'. and so on. Another TF artists I helped and that went bad to me.

* Mr. L is a transformation writer. Back in 2004, he needed a new PC. Since he was a friend and I could get a custom PC build for cheap, we sort of made a deal. I would bring him a new PC and he would pay me at the next con. At the con, I gave him the PC, and he gave me half the cost, saying he would pay me the remaining with the money he would make at the con... Well, I never saw that money again. After 2 years, I agreed to take some commission from him to lower the money he was owing me.
At one point, he offered to sell me a commission he was stuck with, one at 160$. Out of charity, and knowing I wouldn't see the money anyway, I accepted. Only to learn afterward the artist in question, a professional one, would only discuss commission work on the phone or in person. Since he live in California and I in Canada, I was stuck. It took 3 years of back and forth before I could get the commission done. And if I could get back in time, I would have said no to it. Not only I don't think it's worth 160$, all I got to this day is a low quality camera shot of 3 pages, Mr L being too cheap to send me the original. To this day, that person still owe me 200$ in commission plus that 160$ commission. All for helping a TF writer who I thought was a friend.

* Mr T, Mr T2 and Mr S were trolling me for ages. With time however, they sort of realize they were wrong and that they may have gone too far. They sent an apologies email, but when replied back asking for more information and maybe a chat to make official the truce, no reply at all. More likely, those email weren't truthful.

* Me K2, an artist, get some clips from me. Mr E, an artist too, learn that and ask Mr K2 to have them too. Mr E reward Mr K2 with an art trade, while he could have asked me.

* Mr N receive his email for donating to the site. He contact me back saying how a fan he is, that he's been watching the site for years and that he want to give something back. A transformation drawing of me would be an interesting drawing, since he's an artist. After 18 months, not a single words back.

So, is it worth all this? Every two weeks, I get paid for what I do at work, the good and the bad. With the community, no matter what I do, no matter who I help, I always end up losing. I see people getting gifts left and right, I see TF artists trading with each other in a sign of support. I'm in my corner, working, being told to shut up if I dare ask for some support.

Is it too much to ask fan/gift art? Why is my work belittled compared to other? Tanuke thought Naga 10th anniversary was worth mentioning, but not our 10th anniversary? Arania is worth getting monthly donation but I don't? Werechu and SSBdave can get all the gifts and requests they ask but I should just be working and shut up?

All I get are broken promises or excuses. "I'll draw you something to support you". "If I had knew it was your birthday, I would have done something"

In the end, it's a dark November like this where I update the site, with a feeling of wasted time. Feeling I'm just giving away my time for nothing, not even a feeling of accomplishment, now that 36 GB and more than 6000 files has been uploaded.

Why are artists give to other artists, writer to other writer, and vice-versa, but an archiver like me, is considered to be not worth anything. I had that feeling back in 2004, when Stonegate and I were shunned by 3 artists we thought were good friends.

I'm more likely going to move to a monthly update now. Bi weekly update were too much work and people were just re-posting clips on You Tube. Weekly update bring me back nothing and just lower my mood. I'll have to make my mind.

Seeing another birthday go by with nothing but apologizes was not to add any re-comfort either. With that, big thanks to Metamorpher and Lukery, the only two persons who thought about me for my birthday and gave me a present.

I'll probably take a break for a month, going back at coding stuff rather than working on clips that goes unnoticed. Probably gonna try to make a video of what it take to maintain the site and bring new contents. This site sure is no Transfur in that aspect.

Until then, if anyone feel like giving it a try, I'm all welcome to gift / fan art of me.
I'm a sucker for self transformation artworks. Just do a search on Deviantart for 'Dragoniade' and you should see some. I have even 3 in my scrap section in Deviantart. http://dragoniade.deviantart.com/gallery/#_browse/scraps I had more but they were all deleted by some power tripping moderator.
I like animal transformation or any good physical change. I like anatomically correct drawing and anatomically correct Transformation too. References : http://www.shadowlordinc.com/character.view?Character.Id=7737 for both me and Dragoniade, with more images under the thumbnail.

Any question, feel free to drop by on AIM, Yahoo (Dragoniade), MSN (dragoniade@hotmail.com) or by email at this same address.]]> http://www.shadowlordinc.com/forum/posts/preList/63/197.page http://www.shadowlordinc.com/forum/posts/preList/63/197.page GMT
I got banned from the process. Something I've been trying for some time now. Well, not really banned, but to have my account removed.
I wanted that when, some time ago, Lorekeep messaged me when I reinstalled Trillian asking if I was his friend and why I wasn't talking to him if I had him on his list. The usual pathetic sad kid who want friends and want to be sure his "friends" are watching him.

Well, he didn't like his respond when I said I wasn't and the way he was running his site was partially responsible for it. After leaving the conversation with an angry note, he said he would never remove my account. Strange, since he did when he tried to screw up an artist and she stood against him.

To return to the current story. Well, the process is, as we know, a female TF site that slowly turned into a fanservice fetishist female only site. A site where anyone who even mention the words "male tf" automatically get labeled as gay, stupid, freak and like they're having leprosy. A site where the quality of the content is measured by the breast size of the person transformed, or how few cloth she wears. A few days ago, someone posted, in the "Anything else" section of the site, the only place where mentionning male is permitted, that male TF should be also have a separated section. While maybe 3 persons offered sane response, most of the process good replied with stupid comment as "This is a female only site, buzz of", "Male tf are for gay", "if you want gay TF, go to Dragonaide (sic) site", and stupidity like this.

I guess what finally deserved the ban was when someone, known as TF-Viewer, started to post a bunch of libel and lies regarding me and my site. When I posted my defense, he was in denial of ever contacting me, talking to me, donating or ever having anything to do with the site.

Of course, I knew always has been a lie, since about 4 years ago, he contacted me about a donation. Something he more likely had forgotten, but which I didn't. But since he denied ever contacted me, well, what I was about to post must have been fake. So I posted the info, the name and email associated to the donation.


Strangely, the tune changed right after that. He said he had apologized in the past, than he retracted himself from ever saying I was taking drugs, etc and that he wanted to make peace. Strange for someone who denied everything a post before.

Well, Lorekeep didn't like to have one of his puppet being reprimanded and banned me. He banned me before I could post my reply to TF-Viewier.

Right now, I wonder what lies are being posted again. But one thing for sure, GOOD RIDDANCE. I won.


As for Tf-Viewier, I have no idea if he come here, but here's the reply I was going to post:
[quote]

Wait? I thought you *said* you never contacted me, never donated, never apologized to me in this, and other, threads. I really must have missed something.

From being attacked left and right by a lot of people, I grew up a though skin. And from hearing apologizes over and over from people who would simply "forget" the week after, I've learn not to take apologizes for granted. So if you're REALLY truthful, it will take more than a plain post in a forum to do that and you know where to contact me. Otherwise, this is just another empty "request for truce" that I get so often.

As for the info, what tell you I didn't "invented" the whole thing? Unless it's real and I hit a cord. As for why I did it, take the example of a big surface store. They're not supposed to disclose the information they have about their customer (right). But if one customer start denying ever going to the same store after he's suspected to have broken something, the store can use the receipt as a proof. If you really mean what you say, I'll remove it. Otherwise, they're just a random generated email and a name taken from the internet. Just as you said.[/quote]

For the record, one of the person I was mentioning about wanting to make a truce was Soty. Heard he wanted to make peace, never heard a word from him ever.

]]> http://www.shadowlordinc.com/forum/posts/preList/54/169.page http://www.shadowlordinc.com/forum/posts/preList/54/169.page GMT a person or thing that preys, esp. greedily or unscrupulously.

Why the definition? Because some have shown their true color. Let me tell you this little similar story.

[quote]A man has been offering car polling to some of his coworkers. One day, on the way to work, he unluckly gets 2 flats tires. Of course, there's only 1 spare tire, but luckily, there's garage 2 corners away.
So he asks his co-worker to wait just a little and watch the car while he go grab the spare tire.

The come another co-worker, driving nearby. He stop and tell the other passenger how the other guy is using them to get gas subvention, how he's deliberately not taking care of his car. Of course, he offers them to take the people home, leaving the guy alone to deal with the flats tires.
One person who was too busy listening to his music when the misfortune happened accepted, along with one too lazy to help change the tire. The 'good samaritan' left with the 2 peoples, leaving the car poller to wonder, where did his friends go.[/quote]

Back at work, the savior bragged how he's offering better car polling to his co-worker.


I dunno about you, but to me, this 'helper' is a vulture. Rather than offer his help, he tooks the opportunity of a mishaps done by someone else to take credit on his behalf.

This little story is close than you imagine.

After years of offering web hosting, Furvect is now the car poller and the vulture is TF-Media.net

For weeks, Furvect staff has been trying to contacts the previous account owners. Some, like the music guys, was not available to listen to the warning or other, didn't wanted to do the effort to send an email.

In the end, the vulture started to look at those being hosted at Furvect, offering them an alternative... of course, taking away the years of visibility those site had thanks to Furvect.

Furvect is not dead of course. All it need is a small move to the new Furvect. Kuma moved fine, we moved fine, Kyouryuu, atolla and a few others moved fine too. So why vulture the other, only to insult afterward Furvect's staff? I'm sorry, but if some of the site haven't been moved, it isn't because Furvect decided that the content wasn't good enough, it's because the people weren't responding or disappeared (doc lab).

I guess it was time for another TF-Central: a site owner claiming to be the 'savior' of Transformation]]> http://www.shadowlordinc.com/forum/posts/preList/48/155.page http://www.shadowlordinc.com/forum/posts/preList/48/155.page GMT
Well, I got that kind of behavior last Monday.

Some guy, we all know who it is by the title, messaged me asking me if he was on his contact list, since he added me to his.
The reason of all this: I wasn't talking to him. But when I told him why I wasn't talking to him, the sad guy took offense, playing the offended virgin and preferred playing ostrich. If my memory is right, it's the purpose of a site owner to maintain order in it, not leave anarchy reign rampant. But when he was confronted to that, the reason why he was no longer in my list to prevent the constant personal attack, he puts the blame on me. I should accept insult. If you don't like being bullied, it's because you have no backbone. If I want to be left alone, I should be more friendly to the people who libeled me? Seriously, what kind of fascist mentality is that? You have to obey the ruler and his disciple, or be eliminated?

After that incident, I asked him to remove me from his site. Guess what, he refused. Strangely, he did remove another member, some time ago, when, she too, refused to play his game. I even talked to her and she found the who story sad, on his end.

Got to say, up to this day, Lorekeep (oups), is still refusing to delete my account to his "Male supremacy, female submission through TF" group. His reason: Freedom of speech.
Seriously, how does freedom of speech has to do about deleting my account. He did however delete Mir account (oups) when she asked him. He also banned others for not taking his side on argument. Strange mentality for someone who promote "freedom of speech" or should we say, "Freedom of supporting Lorekeep"

Hopefully, this will help having my account deleted.


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